Why Seth Cohen Was Not Meant To Have A Roommate
by Z-clam
Summary: Futurefic. When Seth gets to college, every little thing his roommate does drives him crazy. But most of all, he misses Ryan. Oneshot, probably.


**Warnings:** The following story contains hints of slash; however, you may choose to see it as friendship/a brotherly relationship. But be warned.  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters.  
**A/N: **No offense is meant to anyone living in Utah, including and especially any Mormons who may be reading this. This was based on five terms: Utah, Will Smith, slap bracelets, flannel shirts, Richard Simmons. Written for my beta. In all likelihood, this is a one-shot.

* * *

Seth never thought he would end up in _Utah_, of all places. There are no large bodies of water around (unless you count the Great Salt Lake, but that's a pretty wimpy excuse for a large body of water in Seth's book), and frankly, Mormons scare him. But Snow College is a really good place, and his parents agreed not to sell the newly re-christened Summer Breeze while he's at school. He just wishes Ryan wasn't so far away.

* * *

One of the first things Seth learns about his roommate, Mike, is that he likes to listen to late-'90s rap – specifically, Will Smith.

This alone makes Seth consider changing rooms as fast as humanly possible.

One day he yells over the noise (that's all it can be called, really), "Dude, if you can't listen to good music, could you at least listen to something halfway decent, like Journey?"

_Like Journey. Interesting. _That'd just slipped out.

Seth misses Ryan more everyday.

* * *

Summer once told Seth that in sixth grade, she was obsessed with slap bracelets.

Mike's girlfriend is still obsessed with slap bracelets, and consequently, Mike always has several lying around the room.

Seth personally never saw the point of slap bracelets. He thought they were pretty stupid, but whatever floats your boat.

He misses having someone to ridicule such things with – or _to_, in Ryan's case. He misses the silent laughter in Ryan's eyes.

* * *

Mike wears flannel shirts, which Seth doesn't have a problem with, per se; it's the fact that Mike tries to make _him_ wear them, too, that's the problem. Seth likes his own style perfectly well, thankyouverymuch.

It's not like Mike is chaining Seth to a wall and forcing him to wear flannel or he'll never be free – it's more like he'll say to Seth, "You know, dude, it gets really cold here in winter. Flannel would be a lot warmer than those t-shirts you always wear. I don't think you're really prepared for the climate." Mike says things like 'prepared for the climate' and expects Seth to take him seriously.

Eventually, Seth figures it wouldn't hurt to try on one of Mike's shirts. After all, he'd tried on one of Ryan's wifebeaters once and it _had_ dissuaded both of them from ever letting him wear one again.

But all Mike says is, "You look cool, dude. That totally works for you." Seth catches a glimpse of himself in a mirror and almost gags. It does _not _work for him at _all_.

Ryan would've understood that.

Mike just says, "Well, it's up to you, but feel free to borrow them on occasion if you want," in a manner that suggests he thinks Seth would be stupid not to take him up on this offer.

Seth just sighs and calls Ryan.

* * *

The day Seth finds a Richard Simmons tape on Mike's desk is the last straw.

He goes straight to Gail, their RA. "I need a new roommate," he announces. "I can't live with Mike. He's driving me crazy! He listens to crappy music and makes me try on flannel shirts and there are slap bracelets _everywhere_, like all over the floor and everything, I mean, the guy makes _me_ look neat, and now… now there's a Richard Simmons tape and dude, I'm scared, Gail, you have to help me."

She laughs. "Don't worry, Seth, I'm sure it's fine."

Normally, Seth finds Gail sympathetic and helpful. Right now, he wants to scream and tear his hair out – or better yet, tear _her_ hair out.

"No, you don't understand. I can't live like this anymore. Please," he begs.

She just smirks at him, so he goes back to his room and calls Ryan again. "Ryan, I need help."

"Mentally?"

"Ha ha. No, seriously. Mike is driving me crazy."

"What did he do this time?" Ryan says, sounding amused.

"He apparently exercises to _Richard Simmons._ I am not kidding. This is out of control, dude. I need a new roommate."

"Or you could talk to him about it," Ryan suggests.

"No, you don't understand, the guy's, like, strange. He wouldn't see the problem."

"This sounds more like Summer's area of expertise than mine, Seth."

"Well, yeah, but I miss you more."

He can hear the smile in Ryan's voice. "Miss you too."

"Then, dude, why haven't you visited me yet? I'm stranded here with a lunatic and you don't care," Seth whines.

"Seth, go talk to your RA. I'm sure you can fix it somehow. And of course I care."

"I know. Fine, I'll talk to you later, Ryan. Bye."

"Bye."

"Well, _that_ was totally unhelpful," Seth mutters. Mike opens the door.

"Hey, man, you wanna go out to eat later?" Mike's eyes are so earnest as he says this that Seth is taken aback. In that one second, his roommate's expression looks exactly like one of Ryan's.

"Sure," he says, and Mike says, "Great! Meet you at seven," and rushes off to Physics.

Seth misses Ryan.


End file.
